I am so fucking glad to see you leave to a city where a place called “The Manhole” was famous…you should fit right in there…literally.  I did not have the good fortune to get to know you, quite honestly you’re not my type and I often imagined what it would be like to make you bleed from the nose.  Now that you’re leaving I will never have the chance to do so.  The one good memory I have of you, which you are unaware of until now, is that brunette you made out with last week and took home.  She was actually a pre-op tranny named Sicily (said something about her penis looking like a boot…wierd) that I paid to hit on you.  From my understanding you all hit it off wonderfully until she stuck the stick in the mud and made you curl up into a fetal position and cry like a bitch in the shower.  Fucking pantie waist….

Anyways, it was a pleasure not knowing you because if I did I would have tried to stab myself in the neck with a screwdriver or turned as gay as Matt B.  otherwise known as “Mr. Facial”.  Please make sure to visit the South side of Chicago in the middle of a night while holding a 100 dollar bill and end your failure of a life in CK Money Style.

It works for business to..you are in a board meeting and your boss is steamrolling you about your productivity.  You in fact are scared because you’re a pussy but instead you FAKE IT.  You stand up and tell your boss that you are secretly posing as an employee but you’re really apart of the Hell’s Angels tracking down some hot shot employee in his organization that owes you money…AND you found him..turn to the closest employee (man or woman) and beat the fucking shit out of that person.  Look at you boss and say..”Please continue your meeting you pasty fucker.”

So…when in doubt, make it up…you’re life sucks anyways so why would you like to talk about it?

Tomorrows subject…Pearl Necklaces…CK Money Out!

Dr. Phil:  You’re husband beats you..you need to leave for your sake and your kids sake before you die.  You need to stand up and show respect for yourself…blah blah blah…

Woman:  Dr. Phil, you’re a fucking genius!!!

What should have happened….

Dr. Phil: You’re….

Woman: Shut the fuck up faggot…If I wan’t advice from a dick wrangler, I would talk to my father.

See how that worked?  People don’t need Dr. Phil…They need a pair of balls and some bombtastic pussy…and a beer.  CK Money out!

Please Die

fag

I feel that Harry Potter simply has not received enough attention these days, so I decided to spark some interest.  I have one thing to say…Harry Potter can suck my soup can sized dick!  Let’s analyze the fussy little bitch for a moment.  Harry plays with old men, avoids women like the plague, and rides lot’s of stick…sounds to me like a fucking pillow biter.  I bet his ass is so stretched from Lord Voldemort, it would be like throwing a hot dog down an airplane hangar.  If I ever see that fggot cutter Harry Potter, I am going to punch him right in the fucking junk to prove that he indeed is a big fucking moist vagina.  He always looked a little spongey to me anyways…After that homo stops crying I will give him the best Mr. Rogers ride of his life…I’ll show him who’s the fucking man by making him take the good ol’ Campbell’s can right in the back door.  That’ll show that little fucker…CK Money out.

I say, let these young ladies enjoy their youth and have casual sex.  Let them have bi-sexual encounters while taking turns fisting each other in the ass and smoking crack, let them enjoy rehab, let them enjoy getting pregnant and performing abortions with a wire hanger…Remember ladies…whores are cool and so is anal.  CK Money out.

I love the sluts

So..I saw the Kid Rock fight and have only a few things to say about it.  First thing, Kid Rock kicks ass for being in a waffle house.  Actually..Kid Rock sucks but Waffle House is the king of diners.  The amount of ass you can pull out of Waffle House is endless..I once had this 45 year old woman from Arkansas going down on me in a Waffle House bathroom…amazing, especially when you can have breakfast and sex at the same time.  Have you ever gone down on a girl while licking syrup and egg whites off of a woman’s vijay-jay and then having her give you a blumpkin with her aluminum fronts on.  Out of this fucking world y’all.

Secondly, Kid Rock fights like a girl with no arms trying to tie her shoe.  Fucking classic!!! I would bet that Screech Powers would roll up Kid Rock, tea bag him, then bend him over and show him who the REAL Uncle Cracker is…No wonder why Pam Anderson left him, it gets old fucking Kid rock in the Ass.

Holy Shit!! Is that a midget?

Now, I’m not sure..but I think that is a midget partying with Miss Skank Hilton. To be quite frank, I have never seen a midget doing blow, having orgies, or becoming the funny toy to throw in a bowling alley. I must say that I would love to see that…unless this is a 6 year old partying in the upper echelon (lower echelon than me) of the whorish socialite scene..then, call me old fashioned…but I’m in. It’s about time we break the social norm of America and start pimping these little people out, getting them hooked on the glass dick…hell, they are pretty worthless otherwise…unless you believe in slave labor or black market distribution of children in which case you should continue popping out your “investments”.

Now that I think of it…I think I may have inadvertently purchased this young girl’s services during my trip to Korea….CK Money out.

I am a professional cewebrity..that’s right, a cewebrity! What does that mean you ask? It means I am a god amongst men blessed with the get-up-boogie-down to make girls holla…I flash the cash and make the dash…Basically, I’m pimpin’ and limpin’ baby! I am the enigma, the man who gives life and lays your wife..I am CK money.

So if you have a question about the ladies, how to please a woman, how to be a baller, how to build a house, or anything else…holla at your uncle nephew. If you are a female that thinks they can handle the 2nd most interesting man in the world, send a picture and I will let you know what I think.