Words of Wisdom

Alright everyone…I want to talk about a theory that I believe all men should live by,  It’s called the “Fake it ’till you make it” theory.  Basically, lie about your boring life until you have something interesting to say.  This works in all situations…For instance you meet a whore at a bar and start a conversation with her.  You start making small talk but you soon realize you have nothing to talk about except for xbox360, poker, and the one friend you have that is able to throw his farts and light them on fire.  Basically, your life sucks and you are not going to get laid.  You need a fall back plan and quick…So, you fucking lie your ass off until you have the opportunity to kick her ass out of your bed and tell her to get the fuck out!!!  So you talk about your past job as a spy and how you killed a frog with your bare hands, and how you once had sex with a woman 30 times in one night because you are a fucking stallion.  This peaks the dumb broads interest in you and you lie some more to her until she is drunk enough to follow you home and let you perform Cirque de Soliel acts on her…Fucking Cool!!!

It works for business to..you are in a board meeting and your boss is steamrolling you about your productivity.  You in fact are scared because you’re a pussy but instead you FAKE IT.  You stand up and tell your boss that you are secretly posing as an employee but you’re really apart of the Hell’s Angels tracking down some hot shot employee in his organization that owes you money…AND you found him..turn to the closest employee (man or woman) and beat the fucking shit out of that person.  Look at you boss and say..”Please continue your meeting you pasty fucker.”

So…when in doubt, make it up…you’re life sucks anyways so why would you like to talk about it?

Tomorrows subject…Pearl Necklaces…CK Money Out!